Who I was, to who I am, and my regrets to my friends from the past.....

So my life has taken many interesting twists and turns in the last couple years. I have pretty much always been happy with the direction my life has gone but I am the happiest and most content with my life the way it is now.

I am now married (Since June 2011) to a wonderful Mennonite man, and we go to what I like to think of as a medium conservative Mennonite church, Brownsville Mennonite Church. For those of you who don't know, Mennonite is a christian faith. They are Anabaptist, which basically means that they believe in a believer's baptism, in contrast to an infant baptism. That is just one of the big differences in their basic beliefs. (Any one reading this who grew up Mennonite, please, please, please correct me if I am wrong in any of this!!)

I met my husband through a friend who went to the same school as my husband until second grade, and she also used to go to Brownsville church. My friend and I were at the Eugene livestock sale (because I love cows, and anything to do with cows, particularly auctions!! ) and across the way she spied Bill (hubby). She knew I was single, I love cows, that Bill used to run a bunch of cows in this area, and she just can't help playing matchmaker :) She asked if I wanted to go over and say hi and invite him over for supper and games that night, I WAS NOT going over there to talk to him, I am shy with new people :) So she went over, talked to him, invited him over, he said he would think about it. O and by the way while talking to him she mention that "that girl over there in the red sweatshirt will be there" (ME!!!) I figured she would find some way to make me blush if I went over there to talk to him, which is another reason why I decided not to go. ( I still remember what he was wearing, how and where he was sitting and who he was with..... what a studly muffin.... hehehe)

That night there was probably 6 or 7 people over at my friends house and there was lots of good food, games, and TONS of laughter. Bill decided to come over (after many wardrobe changes, he later told me :) ) I remember that night thinking "what a strange duck he was", because he has dark eyes, dark hair, a black shirt on, and he didn't talk!!! I knew most of the people there, so I wasn't so shy, be he was just weirdly quiet, but to his credit, he knew no one there except my friend and her brother from second grade.....

My friend kept having people over for supper and games EVERY NIGHT that week!!!! ( she wasn't working at the time, and I was on spring break from college, so no classes for a week) Bill was there every single night...... I knew that my friend was Mennonite, and I had never herd of Mennonites, until I met her. I didn't really know what all being a Mennonite meant, but over the times we hung out she would explain some things to me, most things she told me didn't make sense at the time, but over time I could see some good ideals, and moral standards from the Mennonites. Bill and I eventualy exchanged phone numbers and would text each other on and off about random things. Also we would "happen" to end up sitting next to each other when we would all pile into my friend's boyfriend's truck to go shooting or out to eat :) I was starting to really have a crush on this Bill guy, but I was having doubts weather or not he liked me, until he picked me up from my apartment to go out to eat with everybody, in his old shiny Dodge diesel pick up, and I was starting to go to the passenger's side to get in and he said, "you have to get in on this side" I stupidly said, "why, does this door not work?", and he said, "It works, there is just stuff over on that side". So I came back around to his side to get in and O YES there was stuff on the passenger side, like his CENTER console, shoved over against the door, and a jacket or 2 and some other stuff!!!!!! Now I was thinking, "Either he likes me, or he is really messy, and doesn't understand the concept of a CENTER console...." With all of this stuff shoved over against the passenger side, I was FORCED to sit in the middle, next to him, o darn....... lol

After like 4 months of this "I knida like you, but I'm not going to admit it" , we would get into really long conversations about him being raised conservative Mennonite, more conservative than the church we attend, and also about my Christian, but non Mennonite back ground and the benefits and downsides to both sides. For him not being a big talker, what he did say was really intriguing and I loved hearing what he had to say. This whole Mennonite thing was becoming pretty appealing to me.

Some of the more noticeable bigger differences in my life (If you have known me for more than 3 years) is that I now wear skirts and a head covering/veil.

•  Mennonite women wear skirts or dresses, I was,and kind of still am a major rough edged tom-boy, if you ask anyone who know me as a younger child they would say that I would never be caught dead in a dress or skirt, I want to be out playing in the mud with the boys rather than playing pretty pretty princess with the girls! Mennonite women do this because of modesty. At first I thought that I wore some pretty modest pants, not "butt huggers" or low riders or anything like that, but I wore Wranglers (some times fancy Wranglers for women) I started wearing skirts sometimes after Bill would tell me about how the Mennonites see modesty, and how flattering he thinks it is (Yes I will admit most of these changes in my life started off as wanting to please Bill, however they have turned into wanting to please someone greater than my husband, God). 
• the head covering is something that is a very recent change in my life (like I started waering it 2  months ago maybe) There is so much too a head covering/ veil that I could maybe make a whole other post about it, for now just the basics. It is said in the Bible that women are to cover their heads when preying of prefesying (1 Corinthians 11:3-17) the Bible also says that you are to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17 ) Also it is an outward sign of being a Christian, and submitting to God, his divine order, my husband, and church. 

SUBMISSION: is not.... being a pathetic little back bone-less person who cant stand up for themselves, instead...

SUBMISSION: me willingly let my man be THE MAN of our house hold, encouraging him, loving him, so that he can make the best decisions he can, and know that I will love him, even if one of his decisions turns out to be the wrong one, because that to me is what marriage is all about, sticking it out through thick and thin. Now this all doesn't mean that I don't give my opinion (although sometimes it's just better if I don't lol), and sometimes we do go with my ideas instead of his, it all just depends on the situation.

This was a huge step for me! I have always been Christian, and whenever I had a question about biblical stuff my  mom would always tell me to go read my bible to see what it said. I understand why women wear a head covering or veil, but I don't necessarily think it is a point of salvation HOWEVER I do feel it is a blessing to know that I am trying to please God in every way I can.

Now is the part for my apologies to my friends from the past......

It may seem like I have been avoiding you all, in some way yes I have, and I am very truly positively sorry. I avoid you  because I am afraid. I am very happy with the decisions in my life, but I fear you wont understand them, and I fear rejection from you. I do love you all and miss hanging out with you guys, but I know I don't really "fit in" from the outside, but believe me, I am still the fun loving happy Chloe I always was. 

Back to my story of Bill and I.....

We did eventually start dating (July 15, 2009 to be exact :) ) and 2 years later we were married. His family is very loving an accepting of me, and I have felt that way from the very beginning of our relationship. I am very thankful for all of them, for giving me a chance, and loving me, even though I wasn't what they would have hoped for as a wife of his, in the beginning. Their love and acceptance of me is probably one of the bigger things that has helped our relationship along, that I was not what they had hoped for, but they love me and gave me a chance anyways, like Christians should do. 

Through all of these life changes I feel that I am a better person than I was, and much much much more at peace and ease with myself. I feel like this path I am on is the path  I TRULY should be taking.